2:24 p.m. ET, November 21, 2020
How to say "no" to a Thanksgiving invite because of Covid-19, according to etiquette experts
From CNN's Matt Villano
With Thanksgiving just days away, coronavirus cases are continuing to rise in many parts of the US.
Health experts have urged Americans to
alter their holiday plans this year, encouraging people to celebrate with just those in their own households or host socially distant gatherings outdoors.
But if you need to decline a Thanksgiving invite,
etiquette experts have some advice: They said it's a good idea to express your choice as a personal one.
Using "I statements," or statements that start with the first-person pronoun, make clear to loved ones that your decision has nothing to do with them, said Kianga Kelley-Crowley, founder and owner of Simply a Lady, an etiquette and communications consulting company in Wichita, Kansas.
"It's all right to say, 'I prefer not to get together with everyone,' or 'I'm sorry but we're not going to be able to attend this year,'" she said. "Take responsibility for your decision. Own it. Speak the truth to your family members. It's perfectly acceptable to say you're focusing on your own safety and would rather stay home."
Lisa Mirza Grotts, who calls herself the
"Golden Rules Gal," added that her buzzword of the season is risk.
The etiquette expert said she has focused on explaining her decisions only in terms of potential danger — nothing else. This approach has made it easier for her to communicate unpleasant news, she noted.
"When you share your feelings in the context of risk — 'I don't want to be a virus spreader and put others at risk' — the sentiment is very straightforward," said Grotts, who is based in San Francisco. "This is one of the easiest outs there ever will be. It's not about you. It's about others and what you can do to them."