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Iceland has the highest rate of unwed mothers

More than two-thirds of Icelandic babies are born to parents who are not married

"You can choose your life," one unmarried mother says

CNN  — 

“What would a society look like without marriage?”

The question popped into my brain after I stumbled across a list of countries with the most unwed mothers. With 40% of its babies born out of wedlock, America sits near the middle of the global pack in this category. Conservative Turkey brings up the rear with a scant 3%.

And the nation at the top of the list? The world leader in single moms?

Iceland.

01:24 - Source: CNN
Iceland's unique view on marriage

More than two-thirds of Icelandic babies – 67% – are born to parents who are not married. This might be a shameful distinction in many spots around the world. In the land of the Vikings, it is a point of pride.

The island may have been settled by marauding brutes, but it is now the most feminist society on the planet, and with that one tantalizing fact, an episode of “The Wonder List” was born.

With about 320,000 citizens, Iceland has fewer people than Tulsa, Oklahoma, and more glaciers, geysers and clean, fresh water than countries 10 times its size.

01:20 - Source: CNN
Iceland: Between two worlds

The Viking sagas and otherworldly landscapes have inspired movies and shows like “Lord of the Rings” and “Game of Thrones,” and after generations of impoverished isolation, Iceland is experiencing a tourist boom unlike anything the country has ever seen.

But few American visitors would suspect that these handsome people with their tongue-twisting language have blown up everything they know about love and marriage.

‘You can choose your life’

Philip Bloom
Iceland is home to more glaciers, geysers and fresh water than countries 10 times its size. Haifoss waterfall is near the Hekla volcano in southern Iceland.
Philip Bloom
Dramatic Icelandic landscapes like the highlands surrounding Landmannalaugar have inspired movies such as "Lord of the Rings" and television series like "Game of Thrones."
Bill Weir
Reykjavik's Blue Lagoon geothermal pools are a happy accident. Builders of a nearby geothermal plant thought the excess water would soak back down into the rock. It didn't, and a national tourist attraction was born.
Bill Weir
With just over 300,000 people, Iceland's population is smaller than that of Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Bill Weir
Arctic terns dive through the air near Jokulsarlon glacial lagoon. The birds hold the record for the longest migration recorded in any animal, migrating twice annually from the North and South poles.
Bill Weir
A group of puffins overlooks the annual Vestmannaeyjar Music Festival -- the largest in the country -- from the high cliffs of Iceland's Westman Islands.
Bill Weir
A church hosts a wedding on the outskirts of Reykjavik. Iceland leads the developed world in unwed mothers, with two out of every three kids born to parents who are not married.
Bill Weir
Jokulsarlon glacial lagoon is at the southern end of Iceland's Vatnajokull glacier, the largest ice cap by area in all of Europe.
Bill Weir
Gullfoss waterfall is part of Iceland's "Golden Circle" of natural wonders. Iceland leads the developed world in clean water and power.
Bill Weir
The continental divide at Thingvellir National Park is the only place in the world where you can hold two continental plates at once: the North American plate on one side, the Eurasian plate on the other.

“You have this horrible term in English, ‘broken families,’ ” Bryndis Asmundottir says over coffee. “Which basically means just if you get divorced, then something’s broken. But that’s not the way it is in Iceland at all. We live in such a small and secure environment, and the women have so much freedom. So you can just, you can choose your life.”

Bryndis has three kids with two partners and not a drop of shame or regret.

She explains that since few Icelanders are religious, there is no moral stigma attached to unwed pregnancy. And her country guarantees some of the most generous parental leave in the world: nine months at 80% pay (three months for mom, three for dad and another three to be divvied up).

00:30 - Source: CNN
See Iceland in Wonderlapse

As a result, women are emboldened to start families whether or not their men took Beyoncé’s advice to “put a ring on it.”

“We think diamonds are evil,” Bryndis says with a laugh, explaining that it is the norm for a couple to spend years together as parents before even considering marriage.

But American culture has a huge influence in Iceland, so the concept of bridal showers and engagement rings becomes a little less bizarre with every rom-com they enjoy on Netflix. And after the 2008 banking crisis nearly sank the Icelandic economy, many are still deeply in debt, and the temptation to scale back the mom-friendly welfare state is stronger than ever.

With melting glaciers and crowding tourists, this volcanic land seems on the brink of seismic change. But when it comes to swapping marriage vows and licenses, as far as Icelanders are concerned, love really is all you need.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published in 2016.