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Many people feel drained after going through yet another fiercely contested US presidential election. Regardless of how you feel about the election results, the relentless coverage and flood of political ads have left us all a bit weary.
Given the current political divide, you may be searching for more meaningful ways to prioritize your well-being. What better time to begin practicing self-compassion than on World Kindness Day?
Being kind to yourself often involves more complexity than people may realize.
More than 20 years ago, Dr. Kristin Neff, an associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, developed a framework for measuring self-compassion designed to make this vital process more accessible.
The three core components of self-compassion — mindfulness, common humanity and kindness — are essential for offering yourself the same understanding and support that you would readily give to others.
Mindfulness is a core component of self-compassion
Mindfulness aims to bring awareness to the struggles you are facing. It’s easy to overlook our own pain, but it’s also essential to pause and acknowledge the anxiety surrounding our nation’s political divide.
“Getting angry and agitated at a commercial or an ad or debate, that emotion might be fleeting,” said Dr. Kimberly Horn, research psychologist and author of “Friends Matter, For Life: Harnessing the 8 Tenets of Dynamic Friendship.”
However, “that can turn into frustration and resentment (and) a whole host of other uncomfortable, unhealthy feelings for us to hold on to,” Horn added. “Thinking about how we treat ourselves with kindness during this time is a powerful tool.”
Recognizing these emotions is just the first step in the healing process. Instead of allowing these negative feelings to consume you, Neff recommended reminding yourself that there is more that can be done, no matter how you feel in the moment.
“We should be with that sadness and hopelessness and despair, let it all in, feel it, acknowledge it, give yourself compassion for the incredible pain of it, and then start moving again,” Neff said.
Common humanity helps us embrace our differences
Although it might feel like people on opposing sides of the political spectrum are living in two different realities, we are not actually all living alone. As people, we are connected by more than our political beliefs through shared emotions, experiences and identities.
Starting from within may be the key to better understanding those who disagree with you, according to a 2023 study published in the journal Self and Identity.
“When you have compassion for yourself, you are likely to have more compassion for others,” said Dr. Hanh Annie Vu, the study’s lead author and Harvard University psychology fellow. “Self-compassion is linked to common humanity, so viewing yourself and your flaws as a normal part of being human is linked with less prejudice toward outgroups.”
Finding common ground, even in small ways — like acknowledging that everyone has faced stress during the election — fosters understanding. When kindness seems limited, it’s important to make a conscious effort to look for the good in those around us.
“The thing that’s so tragic about the (political divide) is when people dehumanize others,” Neff said. “I may not agree with their viewpoints, and I may think they’re dangerous, but they’re still human beings who love their kids, who are trying to do the best they can in a scary situation.”
Kindness is about prioritizing your peace
Practicing kindness involves adopting a supportive and encouraging mindset, especially in how you talk to yourself and make decisions.
“I’ve had to say this to myself, ‘no matter what happens, I’ll get through it,’” Neff said. “Day by day, I’ll be there to support myself to support others.”
Extending kindness to yourself also can take many forms after the election, such as setting boundaries with those around you to protect your inner peace. Boundary setting as a form of self-compassion may look different depending on your needs, Horn advised.
For some, this might look like embracing common humanity by centering conversations around nonpolitical topics. Engaging in respectful dialogue when discussing politics may provide a safe space to explore tensions, but for others, limiting discussion or avoiding topics surrounding the election altogether could be the best option.
Self-compassion suggestions
While self-compassion is not learned in a day, here are some steps you can take to support yourself on World Kindness Day and beyond:
- Daily journaling or letter writing about accepting your struggles
- Guided meditation to release stress
- Give yourself 20 seconds of physical touch by placing your hands on your heart or other areas where your body needs support
- Disconnecting from social media to recharge, even a little bit
- Schedule an appointment with a licensed professional if your feelings become too overwhelming to handle on your own