Parents in the United States are overwhelmed and burned out with the “dizzying pace” of the world, and it’s a public health concern, according to a surgeon general’s advisory released Wednesday that calls for shifts in policy and cultural norms.
“The work of parenting is essential not only for the health of children but also for the health of society,” wrote US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, a father of two. “We know that the well-being of parents and caregivers is directly linked to the well-being of their children.
The advisory describes how mothers and fathers now work many more hours than in 1985 but also spend many more hours every week on primary child care — and that doesn’t count their total time spent with children. “Demands from both work and child caregiving have come at the cost of quality time with one’s partner, sleep, and parental leisure time,” the advisory says. The strain is even greater on parents caring for aging parents or other loved ones.
At the same time, a “culture of comparison” — often perpetuated online — around milestones, parenting and achievements, “has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind,” Murthy wrote in the 36-page advisory.
The advisory cited a 2023 survey of adults from the American Psychological Association that found 33% of parents reported high levels of stress in the past month compared with 20% of other adults.
What’s needed is a culture shift, the advisory says: “It’s time to value and respect time spent parenting on par with time spent working at a paying job, recognizing the critical importance to society of raising children.” Parents and caregivers need societal support and to be able to talk openly about the stress of parenting. Like an earlier surgeon general’s advisory, it says more connection is needed to combat loneliness and isolation among parents.
“The stress and mental health challenges faced by parents — just like loneliness, workplace well-being and the impact of social media on youth mental health — aren’t always visible, but they can take a steep toll,” Murthy wrote in a guest essay in the New York Times. “It’s time to recognize they constitute a serious public health concern for our country. Parents who feel pushed to the brink deserve more than platitudes. They need tangible support.”
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The advisory calls for a national paid family and medical leave program and paid sick time for all workers and bolstered support for child care financial assistance, universal preschool and programs such as Head Start. Employers can expand programs that support parents’ well-being, including paid leave and flexible work schedules, and training managers on stress management.
Communities, schools and health-care workers can help, too, with additional screening and support for all, especially parents who are at most at risk. More research is needed, the advisory says, and it recommends developing parent-specific standardized measures of mental health and well-being.
Individual actions can make a difference, too. Showing up to help so parents can eat a meal or take a shower “go a long way toward helping parents feel supported and seen,” he said.
“There’s difference between saying something’s important and making it a priority,” Murthy said on CNN Wednesday. “And if we’re going to really make supporting parents a priority, then we’ve got to have a major culture shift in our country, such that we see parenting is central to the health and well-being of society.”
Surgeon general’s advisories are public statements to draw attention to public health issues that require awareness and action. Murthy has issued advisories in the past about health misinformation and gun violence, but also on mental health topics such as loneliness and isolation and the effects of social media on youth.
“The bottom line is that we’ve got to start seeing mental health as health. It is no less important than our physical health,” Murthy said Wednesday. “If we can attend to both our mental and physical health, then we have a good chance, you know, of being happy, healthy and fulfilled, and that’s what we all want for ourselves and especially for our kids.”