Editor’s Note: Oona Hanson is a parent coach who specializes in helping parents raise kids who have a healthy relationship with food and their body. The views expressed here are her own. Read more opinion on CNN.
Just after former President Donald Trump’s felony convictions, late-night talk show hosts and even The New Yorker magazine stuck to the familiar territory of mocking his physical appearance.
Despite plenty of substantive material (including those convictions) to critique, Trump’s body continues to be a go-to target for comedians, cartoonists and everyday Americans who dislike him for political or ethical reasons. Turning his looks into a punchline may get laughs, but this mockery reinforces biases that contribute to the body image struggles faced by men and boys.
When I work with families whose sons are grappling with negative body image and eating disorders, parents are often angry at the appearance pressures today’s young men experience.
“People need to understand that men struggle with body image, men have insecurities around their body. It doesn’t make them weak. It doesn’t make them flawed. It’s actually incredibly normal,” according to Aaron Flores, a registered dietitian in Calabasas, California, who runs the body image podcast “Men Unscripted.”
Men’s body anxieties have only heightened in recent years, as the idolized male physique has become increasingly exaggerated and impossible to achieve.
“We are absolutely doing a disservice to a younger generation of men by putting one body type on a pedestal and criticizing another,” said Stephen Reeder, a licensed professional clinical counselor and certified eating disorder specialist in Denver. “Media has sexualized and objectified the feminine body for centuries. But we’ve seen a huge increase in the objectification and the sexualization of the male body over the past couple decades, and it’s to an unrealistic, unachievable level.”
While a public figure may seem like fair game for ridicule, there is unintended collateral damage, Reeder added. “When we criticize someone in a different shaped body than, say, (actor) Chris Hemsworth, we are essentially saying this one’s bad, that one’s good.”
The problem with bullying the bully
Because Trump himself is known for publicly bullying and body-shaming others, some may feel it’s only fair for him to be on the receiving end of the same kind of ad hominem attacks. Both Flores and Reeder cautioned, however, against “bullying the bully” — especially because it’s the innocent bystanders who are hurt most by these jokes. Even if someone is laughing along, they are still internalizing the message that their own body could become an object of ridicule, too.
Making matters worse is that talking openly about body image concerns is still considered taboo by many men, explained Flores: “Then folks suffer with it alone. There’s this silent suffering that men are experiencing right now.”
Justifying body-based humor when it’s at Trump’s expense also sets a dangerous precedent that one person’s behavior makes it OK for others to imitate it when criticizing someone else they don’t like, Flores noted.
“If we use that rationale, our society is in a lot of trouble,” Flores said. “We can still have our own moral compass.” For opponents of Trump, it’s worth considering the implications of taking a page right out of his playbook: Is it OK to disparage someone’s appearance simply because you don’t like them? What does it say that you’re willing to imitate someone whose character you question?
Body image is about more than just weight
In addition to his weight, Trump’s hair and hand size are frequent targets of humor. Taken together, these aspects “speak to this hypermasculine ideal that someone needs to be strong, they need to be fit and they need to somehow signal that they’re well-endowed,” Flores said.
Communicating virility has been a feature of Trump’s persona, and something he and his promoters like to emphasize, as seen in the superhero trading cards and other AI-generated images depicting him in hypermuscular action poses.
The public discourse around Trump’s iconic hairstyle heightens concerns shared by balding men about whether they appear masculine or youthful enough, Flores noted. “It’s a very uncomfortable part of aging. There are a lot of ways we try to hide it instead of accepting it. Hair loss is a very sensitive, insecure place for a lot of folks.”
Acknowledging our unconscious bias
If we find ourselves making fun of Trump’s body, it’s an invitation to reflect on the power of internalized cultural messages about which bodies deserve respect. These uncomfortable moments offer a chance to “dissect our own views of gender and body image, and being able to, with a mindful eye, be honest with ourselves about our own biases,” Reeder said.
People who have very strong feelings of disdain for Trump’s policies often get so heated they default to these biased impulses, Flores said. “It’s an easy thing to fall into — well, let’s make fun of how he looks. It’s what people unfortunately have access to when they want to criticize someone without having much of an intellectual discussion about it.”
How to interrupt body-shaming
For those who want to be more mindful about avoiding body-shaming, there are ways to disrupt the status quo without becoming the humor police.
Making it personal and “moving it away from Trump” can be an effective way to set a boundary around body-shaming, Flores suggested, offering this sample response: “I’m wondering if we could just not make comments about anybody’s body; it’s hard for me to hear.”
That kind of openness requires a lot of vulnerability, which Flores acknowledged is not accessible to everyone in every context.
“I have a lot of compassion for when people don’t say anything. But I think learning to set boundaries around what are acceptable conversations around bodies with folks is very important, and I think it’s healthy to set that boundary. It’s just very hard to do it.”
Being direct and matter-of-fact can be another effective approach to “destigmatize these types of conversations,” Reeder suggested. One such response he offered: “It’s OK to dislike or disagree with someone or not personally like them. But I don’t think it’s ever OK to criticize someone’s body.”
If a close friend or family member makes a body-shaming joke or shares a fatphobic meme about Trump, Reeder recommended approaching with “compassionate curiosity.” He suggested responding, “This is really interesting. Can you tell me what it is about this image that you thought was funny?”
If your family has already had discussions about body diversity and size acceptance, you don’t have to shame anyone for making a fat joke, Flores added. It can be an opportunity to notice how ingrained our beliefs are by pausing and saying, “Do you see how easy it is for us to fall into it? This is a really good example of, wow, like within an instant I can make fun of this person because I don’t like them.”
These moments raise a fundamental question that goes beyond body conversations, Flores observed: “How do we have empathy for one another even if we disagree?”
Rather than being offended by someone’s joke and then going on the attack in a verbal tug-of-war, Reeder imagines a much more productive interaction between two people who disagree: “what if we can just drop the rope and have an open conversation. Then we can both really begin to learn.”
An empathetic, nonjudgmental approach could go a long way toward more civil dialogues not just about politicians’ bodies but about politics in general.
If you or someone you know may be struggling with an eating disorder, the National Alliance for Eating Disorders provides resources and referrals.