Opinion: Tom Brady’s post-roast revelation raises eyebrows

Editor’s Note: Kara Alaimo is an associate professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her book “Over the Influence: Why Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back” was recently published by Alcove Press. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and X. The opinions expressed in this commentary are her own. Read more opinion on CNN.

In an episode of “The Pivot Podcast” that dropped Tuesday, Tom Brady made some comments that don’t pass a sniff test, implying he didn’t realize his appearance on the “The Greatest Roast of All Time” on Netflix would negatively affect his children.

In an episode of the show livestreamed on May 5, Brady was roasted by comedian Kevin Hart and a cavalcade of celebrities and former colleagues. But a number of the jokes touched on his divorce from his ex-wife, Gisele Bündchen, with whom Brady shares two kids, Benjamin, 14, and Vivian, 11. “I loved when the jokes were about me. I thought they were so fun,” Brady said in his podcast interview. “I didn’t like the way that it affected my kids.”

“It was the bittersweet aspect of when you’re doing something you think is one way and then all of a sudden you realize I wouldn’t do that again because of the way it affected actually the people I care about the most in the world,” Brady also said on the podcast.

Brady apparently would have us believe he was, in his words, “naïve.” On the podcast, he said, “It’s a good lesson for me as a parent; I’m gonna be a better parent as I go forward because of it.”

If he really didn’t anticipate a potential problem here, that’s pretty remarkable. Brady, after all, is an experienced public figure who was smart enough to do this podcast interview in the first place in order to mitigate the PR disaster of how some of the more personal jokes on “The Greatest Roast” were received after the fact. During the show, however, when comedian Jeff Ross made a joke alluding to the fact that New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft had once been arrested for solicitation of prostitution (the charges were dropped), Brady had the presence of mind to get up and tell Ross not to repeat what he’d said (while by contrast, when his divorce came up, Brady quietly sipped his drink).

It’s hard to believe that, with so many years of experience with both parenthood and global stardom, Brady didn’t foresee that appearing on “The Greatest Roast” would essentially be accepting an invite to have his family skewered. It’s also an excuse no woman in her right mind would ever attempt. First of all, it wouldn’t be believable in the least for a mother to claim she was this oblivious to what might impact her children. What’s more, for a public figure, such a claim would very likely be weaponized against her as essentially an admission that she was a bad mother — one of the most damaging charges that could ever be leveled at a woman.

Take Catherine, Princess of Wales. On March 22, when she publicly announced she had cancer amidst a fever pitch of questions and speculation about her condition and whereabouts, she and her team received plenty of criticism for not disclosing her diagnosis sooner. But it seems clear to me, as a communications expert and a mom, that she prioritized protecting her kids over protecting her reputation. She waited until the start of her children’s spring break from school so they wouldn’t have to face questions on the playground the next day.

Brady seems to have done just the opposite. He’s serving as an executive producer of “The Greatest Roast” series,  so he clearly stood to benefit from the attention his episode received. Everyone — but especially an executive producer of this very series about roasting people — knows that few topics are off limits in a roast. In fact, one of Brady’s former teammates, Rob Gronkowski, once participated in a roast of another sports figure, David Ortiz, that couldn’t even be televised because the jokes had gone too far.

Parenting is hard work and it’s easy to make mistakes. Giving ourselves grace and finding ways to do better next time ought to come with the territory. Parents, even the famous ones, deserve that, and goodness knows American society writ large is far too quick to judge parents (moms especially) harshly for their failures. That being said, Brady could have done a lot of things differently here. Maybe he really didn’t see coming how hard this would be on his kids. Even so, he would set a better example for them by owning up more completely to his poor choices and promising it won’t happen again.